Boys would rather hurt feelings to validate logic;
girls would rather shatter logic to validate feelings!
…(biologically and wired into our genetics..it’s not just social or cultural).
When I embodied this truth it was a game changer for me!
And this can be an emotional issue with lots of defense mechanisms that come up.
Of course there is a spectrum of consciousness here…
I am not lumping anyone into any spectrum.
Neither side is “right”...this is not about wrong or rights it’s about understanding…
In fact, rather than trying to understand these dynamics, we default into saying things like, “Men are shallow & detached or women are crazy and overemotional..” But what if these are really good things nudging us further into our own evolution?
Go back through time & remember when you had a misunderstanding with your partner…
And say this first sentence to yourself, and frame into your experience..
Boys would rather hurt feelings to validate logic out of love;
girls would rather shatter logic to validate feelings out of love!
Now we need to make a distinction here between who you are on the outside and who you are on the inside...they can be completely independent in your psychology.
You can be a woman on the outside and have a more masculine psychology on the inside and vice versa you can be a man on the outside and have a more feminine psychology on the inside..and again lots of spectrums here…
no stereotypes here just trying to help you expand your perception...
From a biological perspective when the brain is forming in a fetus...the is a real good book called the Red Queen that tackles this…
One of the most important studies is that when the being is just conceived it already has a certain default brain which is the emotional female brain.
To get the male mind..the female mind gets injected with testosterone when the baby is developing...somehow the mother’s body naturally injects this into the baby and works on the development in the brain and it severs the corpus callosum in the baby’s brain which results in the male mind. Then the mind develops the hemispheres become more specialized and then in puberty the boy gets a second injection of testosterone which further solidifies the male mind. And also in puberty the girls get another injection of estrogen which further solidifies the female mind.
(By the way...back to shades of gray an spectrum..the boy doesn’t always get a full dose of testosterone and the woman doesn’t always get a full dose of estrogen… which is why we can have females with a more male mind and a male with a more female mind)...
This is really cool if you think about it..It tells us how the brain gets distinguished...the female mind is more holistic and the male brain is more specialized…
We do have a lot in common but we do have differences..
We need both for survival as a species.
The man’s brain is wired to figure how stuff works. It’s wired for logic & mapping.
The woman’s brain is wired for emotional thinking, loving and relating to other human beings.
"This is not about equality, this is about how support each other in their is-ness of their not-ness of being.."
Julie Woods Julie Woods coined this term “huvinity”….
Now you know this principal, can you see how you could have and can perceive relationships from a differently lense.
Of course there are various “shades of grey” in this principal.
So let me unwind this a little more…
There are biological approaches rooted in life to express: the masculine energy and the feminine energy (not to be confused with actual male and female beings).
Let’s talk cat & dogs…
Let’s say you are a dog (a man) and you LOOVEEE your cat (woman). So you go to the pet store to buy her a gift, a delicious bone. You bring it home and you are so proud and fluffed up, you did sooo good! You lay it out in front of her, this fantastic thoughtful treat...she comes over sniffs it and walks away. The dog is like WTF...I just gave you the BEST BONE, IT’S AMAZING!
Let’s say your a cat (woman)...and you saddle up to your dog (man) and start purring...you are looking for some emotional support, maybe you are feeling lonely or something has come up and you just want to talk about it...a hug maybe, maybe you want some nurturing, reassurance...and the dog (starts getting all excited and wagging his tale) because this is his domain..he can help you fix your problem because this is how he interprets your language, he knows how to figure out a map to your solution logically. He wants to help, he wants to save you from further pain from his perspective as fast and as quickly as possible, this is what he would need..
A bone makes everything better for a dog..
so he goes and gets the bone and presents it your feet in all your glory because he LOOVEES you soo much.
He gets to be the hero!
he doesn’t understand that that is not what you, a cat need.
And again the cat sniffs it and walk away to give herself a bath….
I am simplifying here..
But that is not what you “need”.. So then the cat and the dog turn into their own proverbial ouroboros...going round and round AND not evolving,
not understanding fundamental biological differences in each other and each other thinking they “KNOW” their partner.
Just like if he was to come home from work in a bad mood and you want to love on him, make him feel like everything is o.k….traditionally women want to know what’s wrong and talk about it and give him a hug because (overgeneralizing here) traditionally that is what women need.
(Btw the way, I see a lot of dynamics that are different..actually I see a lot more men being emotionally attuned to their partners and I am seeing a lot more women looking to help provide quick logical solutions to their partners…)
What I guess I am trying to express is that we are all created equal and evolutionarily designed to specialize into sexes to supplement each others strengths & weaknesses.
So go back to that relationship...you know the one..the one popping into your head...and imagine you seeing you from that other person’s perspective on that relationship...if your a woman flip the script...see your partner as only wanting the best for you out of love, protection & and logic...and if you are a man flip the script seeing your partner wanting the best for you out of emotional intimacy, validation and cuddles.
Can you imagine where that relationship could have taken a different course if you or them or you both had this understanding?
And if you fall into the spectrum use your noggin...you can feel where you fall into shades of gray..usually there is a more dominant masculine and more dominant feminine no matter what the sex.
Now lets take this another step further…
We have both of masculine and feminine energy in us that operates and expresses in different ways…
It’s not limited to health, wealth or love…
It’s in EVERYTHING..
When you learn how to balance these principles inside you….it opens up your power channels..and your power channels are what you operate to not only create well being and to CREATE THE LIFE BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!
This is my specialty...flooding your POWER CHANNEL, wide open in a capable, methodical and magical way, purifying anything in your way by firehosing you with PURE UNIMPRINTED energy for you to mold!
When you flood your power channel the b.s. That is blocking your wildest dreams naturally gets purified in this stream of your POTENT energy!
Drop a comment and let me know if this shifted anything for you!